Faith comes by Hearing

I didn't like "since the tree" anymore.  I don't want to call it that anymore.  In spite of my bad behavior over it and basically calling God stupid for letting me live, I have known it was the end of something, and the beginning of something else.  It took a month for me to find purpose in it and even still, purpose is not fully revealed.  But since then, my reaction to things is so different.  Perhaps it isn't fully shown outwardly, but in my heart, there is more joy, more hope, more gratitude.  I am changing.

I still feel the ache of my daughter being cut from her team.  A three-year starter, cut, when no one else was.  Clearly a political move, she would not have started for three years if she was not good, but it is getting easier every day to put it from my mind and move on.  I say "fake it till you make it".  My mouth and heart are saying the right things...speaking forgiveness and letting go.  My mind is beginning to follow; I find myself thinking about it less and less.

Financially, we have been so blessed!  Two really generous gifts; one monetary, the other, a really nice blessing I would have never been able to give myself, a timely refinance, a GOOD deal on a replacement car and a fair reimbursement for the totaled TARDIS.  But this all served to free up funds that previously were not free.  Breathing room.  YESSSSS!  But not just breathing room.  No, my budget suddenly seems to be opening up.  All of a sudden, I have a pretty substantial savings and still money in checking and payday is tomorrow!

I was getting ready to send money to a charity I send to every month and God said, "As I have blessed you, so you are to bless them."  So I made the payment for $100 instead of the usual $45.  Not a whole lot, but to them it will be a goodly amount.  So I am budgeting for the next few months and where I have never tithed for never feeling I had the money to begin with-it always belonged to my creditors.  But I have committed to some charities on a monthly basis.

I felt like God was telling me that I didn't have as far to reach with my tithe as I thought I did because I was already giving.  I have also always tried to give of my time, but haven't been able to since I went back to school.

"But God, that isn't tithing." 

"It is."

"???"

"You still don't trust Me yet do you?

I still had no words, but He heard the questions in my heart that I didn't even know were there.  So He starts showing me what He has been doing and says, "Go list them.  Go write them down.  See for yourself what I have done."

Go back, read the paragraph that begins with "Financially, we have been so blessed!"  It has been 10 days since I first wrote about the tree.  He has done this in TEN DAYS!  Not to mention what is going on in my heart!  He does so much for us and we don't even realize how much He is blessing us, unless we take time to think about those blessings!  I, for one, am deeply convicted to write them down.  So here I am.  Documenting the word of my testimony.  Learning to forgive on a real level and realizing that trust grows as a direct result of that testimony. It's the same thing as "Faith comes by hearing."  God is talking about hearing the word of God builds faith.  Well, hearing about the things God does builds faith.  That is what our testimony is.  That is what our testimony does.  That is how we overcome.  Praise God!  His word is faithful and true!

To man, God's word is as nonsense, but it always proves itself true.  It does not return to Him void!  This is the confession of faith I have for my fallen child.  My little one will return to the fold.  The Word has been spoken to him.  The seed has been planted.  God's work in him will be a testimony in and of itself!

But I still need another "name" for the beginning of all of this.  The Day of Epiphany is already taken and I can't just keep saying, "since the tree".