A Moment of Praise

Just for a moment I want to take the time to speak my hope and my gratitude, not what I see and what worries me.

How can I not worship a God who created everything and to whom everything belongs.  It is our of His love and mercy that He chooses to share some of His blessing with me.  He knows I do not deserve it.  Not only, on my own, am I an unfaithful sinner, but I also lack gratitude.  I take for granted what I have and what He gives me.  I take for granted the time and place on this earth which He has allowed me to live.  I do not look to Him to be my keeper and my savior unless I am in need.

Praise God that I am learning.  Praise God that He strengthens me for the day that comes.  Praise God that He allowed me to be born in a time and place where I could learn and grow in Him.  Praise God for the day that comes.  It is an exciting day.  A day that proves that all He has said will come to pass.  Yes, it will be a hard day, but I will keep my eyes on Him who saves, on Him who is in control, on Him who will have the final word.  In Him I put my trust and hope.

So many Firsts!

This is a post I wrote back in September.  I didn't publish it because it took off on a rant.  I still wanted to share my "firsts" but not the rest:

I always imagine myself getting on here and posting, "Today was my first (fill in the blank)!"  But here I am, a month into a truckload of firsts and I haven't blogged about a single one of them yet.  In my mind, I feel that somehow detracts from the specialness of the event.  Nevermind that my first day in the classroom as a teacher, will always be my first day, whether I blog about it on that day or not. 

The big news is that I am now a teacher!  To move down the list from there, Child 6 is a Senior and my first day at school, was her last first day of school.  Of course there will be college, but that is different!  I have my first classroom, my first students, I get my first evaluation next week...!!!  Wait a minute!  That first has me scared out of my wits!

I have learned that:
   I love my students.
   I would do anything for them.
   I am good at getting them involved and interested.
   I am an extremely dedicated teacher! (I haven't had a whole weekend off since I started getting my classroom ready in July and I am at the school 12 hours a day during the week!)
   I think I am a pretty good teacher.
   but regulations stifle education............

I won't say more.  I deleted over half of this post to prevent it.

Foreboding

Ever have those feelings that something bad is about to happen, but you are afraid to even think about it?

Yeah.  That. 

I am afraid to even be afraid.