An empassioned post written on my phone, in the car, on the way home from vacation.

I am going to hire a carpenter.  I am going to make sure he is well educated (having used his own money and time to get that way), good with wood and other materials, creative enough to make really good plans (even though I have my own plans for what he is to do).  I am going to give him enough work that for the next year, he will only be working for me, putting in as many as 70 hours a week.  I am only going to pay him about $15 per hour (which is what many want the minimum wage to be).  Oh he'll get 2 months off during the cold months cause there's no work to do in the cold, but I expect him to go to training for at least half of that.  I'll find someone who will do it just because he loves what he does. 

The job will be done with me looking over his shoulder.  I will take account of every nail that is dropped, every screw that is stripped. Every knot in the wood that I give him to work with.  He has to work with those knots and make it perfect!  All knots; warped and cracked boards; and every scrap has to be made into useable material using, for each individual board, the same technique that I, who know nothing about wood, have created. 

Now my plan calls for a curved wall. I gave him boards that are all straight except for a few warps.  He may know of a product that will make those curves smooth and precise, but no.  He must use the wood I have.  I mean, after all, everybody else is using that same wood!

Not only will I make him use that straight wood, but he has to make it curve the way I tell him too or I will fire him and call Angie's List and the Better Business Bureau so he never works in this town again. Some pieces of the wood are perfect and will curve nicely with a little pressure, but I want him to force every piece into that curve, even if it stresses the perfect boards to the point of cracking or breaking.  If one board breaks, the carpenter is responsible.  All boards must be perfect and look exactly the same when the job is complete.  If he gets frustrated and throws a board, I have cameras around to catch him and I will send the video to the news media. He will be tried and convicted of vandalism on the news and social media the very week it happens.

(Well that last part is a stretch.)  Anyone want to apply?  

Let carpenters do the carpentry.

If you don't get the analogy, contact me.  If you wanna know what to do for the poor wood, I'll be happy to tell you.